Where Are the Tater Tots?
by Samyo
Summary: A Napoleon Dynamite fic. A new school year has begun and there are no tater tots.


**Title:** Where Are the Tater Tots?

**Movie:** Napoleon Dynamite

**Author:** Samyo

**Rating:** PG

**Genre:** Humor

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**Disclaimer:** I own nothing, gosh! Do you think I'm a freaking idiot or something?

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**Author's Note:** This may suck, but it is hard to write Napoleon Dynamite fics.

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It was the first day of the new school year; things had sure change since the last. Uncle Rico was seeing a girl and had finally stopped going on about that championship. Pedro had been successful as class president and had made mustaches the new fashion trend. Deb was still trying to be a model, but a modeling agency had actually sent a letter stating that they didn't want her. They would usually just ignore her, but this was a big step. On the bus, a short kid asked Napoleon about what he had done recently.

"Hey, Napoleon! What did you do over the summer?"

"I was helping Green Peace protect Nessie because those Japanese scientists still wanted to blow her out of the water, and the wizards were on vacation, so they couldn't cast a magical protective spell."

"Did you actually see her?"

"Of course I did, gosh! Do think I would volunteer with Green Peace to protect something that didn't exist?" The kid shrugged and looked out the window. Napoleon started drawing a chiuck, one of his newest sketch ideas.

"It's a cross between a chicken and a duck," he once explained, "it's one of my best drawings, though it took me forever to shade the feathers on the chiuck head."

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He arrived at his Idaho school with one thought in mind, which he gladly shared with Deb and Pedro.

"I'm like the most popular kid in school. Didn't you see my awesome moves when I performed after Pedro's speech?"

"I thought it was interesting." Deb still wore her hair the same, but was now moving towards fashions of this new centaury. She was going through the Spice Girls phase, which is definite progress from the eighties.

"Yes, I know. I feel sorry for those geeks." At that moment, a bully started ramming a geeks head into a locker.

"Maybe I should do something, since I was like, the class president."

"Take it from me; have your Secretary of Defense deal with it."

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Napoleon was in history class now, preparing to give a speech on a recent event. He got up and went to the front of the class, dodging paper airplanes and other projectiles.

"Yetis all over the world are protesting for them to be put on the worldwide endangered species list for the new Atkins diet has put them as one of the best meats to eat in order to keep a good diet. Their spokesperson, the Abominable Snow Man, says that though he has lost over a hundred pounds on the Atkins diet, he thinks it is gross to eat members of his own species."

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Napoleon was in line for lunch when he discovered that there were no more tatter tots.

"But what the heck am I suppose to eat?" The lunch lady tried to offer a friendly suggestion.

"Well, if you want to eat a potato product, we have mashed potatoes."

"I'd rather eat a yeti, gosh!" He walked to the lunch table Pedro was at in a funk.

"They don't have any tatter tots!"

"I know."

"Well, you're like the class president; do something!"

"My Secretary of Agriculture is sick with the measles."

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Napoleon was starving; he decided to go home sick, because he was starving andhis lips were hurting.

"Can I use your phone?" he asked the secretary.

"Why?"

"Because I don't feel well, gosh!" The secretary handed him the phone; he took it into the hallway so he could have some privacy. He dialed for his grandma. At that same moment, a kid ran across the hall and screamed "pecker."

"Hello."

"Grandma, pick me up from school."

"Are you sick?"

"They ran out of tater tots and I'm starving."

"You can eat something when school is over." A blank look came over Napoleon's face.

"My lips hurt."

"Put some chap stick on." He hung up the phone and gave it back to the secretary. In a sudden outburst of anger, he grabbed a pencil and threw it across the room. He than ran like heck.

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This was my best effort for a Napoleon Dynamite fic. **Please review anyway.**


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